It is officially…. PLAYOFF PETE TIME! BOOYAH!
I’m not even putting a record up, because it is a new season and heads are going to fly! To all you playoff bound teams, get ready for the carnage that is grown men and women chasing Robin Glory! Let’s get it on, Baby!!!!
#1 Stallion Managers (10-2) (17.08 Pts/Gm) vs #16 Funkshunly Ill (6-6) (17.58 Pts/Gm)
The top ranked Stallions will begin their quest for Robin glory this week against the top loser of all the remaining teams, Funkshunly Ill, who squeezes into the sixteenth and final playoff seed. This presents an interesting matchup as the Funkshun have been a top five scoring club all season while the Stallions have been good, but not great… Can the 16 take down the 1? We shall soon see… For picking purposes, I am taking the team with a 2 point advantage as the Stallions survive!
Stallions 26 Funkshun 25
#2 Beast (9-2-1) (17 Pts/Gm) vs #15 Orange Crush (6-5-1) (15.75 Pts/Gm)
The Crush pulled out the wet willy last week to pull a fast one on the Badger Balls to knock them down a few seeds while earning a playoff birth in their rookie season! The Beast have not had much trouble disposing of the Stapleton clan this season as he has dominated fellow Stapleton, the Beads.. Can the elder turn the tide? Probably not… Two time Champion Beast moves on!
Beast 24 Orange Crush 20
#3 Bucknuts (9-3) (17 Pts/Gm) vs #14 Gringos (6-5-1) (16.75 Pts/Gm)
Yet again, the Bucknuts have had a stellar season… Can they finally make the turn and actually make a playoff run? In their way are the Gringos, a club that they have historically struggled with. The Gringos promise to make things interesting despite the 1 point deficit they face… Those damn Mexicanos know how to stir up trouble sometimes, and I am smelling an upset special as the Gringos send the Bucknuts home in time for some cranberries and turkey!
Gringos 28 Bucknuts 25
#4 Badger Balls (8-3-1) (18.08 Pts/Gm) vs #13 Minute Men (7-5) (16.92 Pts/Gm)
Steaming over their loss of the 2nd seed in the tournament, the Balls will try to do what they have failed to do in the past 4 seasons…. Make a Robin Bowl come home! In their way are the upstart 13th seeded Minute Men who squeezed into the playoffs with some last week heroics. The Minute Men will certainly come to play and while you cannot discount their success this season, they are simply overmatched here as the Balls will come to play… Balls Deep Baby!
Badger Balls 28 Minute Men 24
#5 Hilton Head (8-3-1) (17.92 Pts/Gm) vs #12 Snaggletooth (7-5) (16.92 Pts/Gm)
The scheduling gurus did Hilton no favors in rewarding them for their conference title with a first round matchup against the powerful Snaggles! The Snaggle always show up to play around the holidays and are always a tough out finding ways to get it done like no other can… The Hilton have traditionally been a choker towards the end of the season as their late year struggles are well noted…. Hmmm. Wow, this is a good game…. Screw it! I’m going with the Hilton and their momentum as the Snaggle have been stuck in quicksand all season!
Hilton 29 Snaggle 27
#6 Scalpers (8-4) (17.5 Pts/Gm) vs Donkey Dick (7-5) (17.08 Pts/Gm)
Yeeee Doggies! It’s Dick Gone Wild Time! The Dick are back in the playoffs! Unfortunately, they square off against a stellar Scalpers club that has challenged every year he’s been playing… This is a tall order for the Dick. They will truly have to straighten themselves out real good to get this one done…. Not… gonna…. Happen!
Scalpers 30 Dick 24
#7 Wombats (8-4) (16.58 Pts/Gm) vs #10 Amazons (8-4) (17 Pts/Gm)
You know those games on your March Madness sheets where you search all the 5-12, 6-11, and 7-10 matchups to find the upset? Well…. HERE YOU GO! The Bats have managed to bumble their way into the playoffs this season, and their first round opponent was a point total from the 3 seed in the tourney… Ouch! Tough break for the Bats, but they are outmatched as the Zons set up a monumental showdown in round 2 with the hated Beast!
Amazons 28 Wombats 23
#8 Assclowns (7-5) (15.5 Pts/Gm) vs #9 Mocoholics (8-4) (18.08 Pts/Gm)
Since we are on March Madness, I would liken this to one of those games where the Sun Belt conference winner, MTSU, aka the Assclowns, goes up against the 4th team out of the SEC, Kentucky, aka the Mocoholics. You do the math on that one…. The Mocos were a win last week from being the #1 seed in the entire tournament, so the Clowns get a joyous reward for winning their conference by having to play them in the first round! Forget about it!
Mocoholics 31 Assclowns 21
